Sorry, don't know what happened there. Welcome, one and all, to the second part of our celebration of forty nine years of the bits on ITV that weren't the programmes but weren't the adverts either (so apologies in advance to Tank from the Walkers Crisps advert). We're going to be skipping the Test Card, as there's only really the Simple Minds-purloined IBA Colour Bars and the slightly earlier black and white one where it looks like when a DVD player goes wrong between chapters worth writing about (and the rogue appearances by BBC Test Card F in some ITV regions has already been covered here), so instead we're moving straight on to the big bewildering company logos the various regions used to say "I MADE THIS" at the end of their programmes. Or, if you will, the 'idents'. Let's rock!
Continuing our voyage round the 'regions' that were actually technically slightly more substantial than 'regions' before we get to anything anywhere near England - specifically for the purposes of getting up the noses of those inexplicable hordes of mouth-frothing send-'em-all-back merchant ident freaks - it's time to alight upon greener pastures and Ulster TV's inaugural medical-chart-out-of-hospital-drama-title-sequence jagged line hoo-hah, and its subsequent subsumation into a game show prize-esque stylised TV statuette reportedly fashioned out of metal recovered from the film prints of junked local TV productions, so there may well be bits of a couple of long-lost much-vaunted Jack Rosenthal comedy-dramas in there. No, stop scraping. You can't recover them that way.
The mysterious Television Wales And West was the original reins-taker for the corresponding crossover area between Wales and the West Country, who apparently produced a grand total of no programmes whatsoever for the wider network. However this did mean that they could take a progressively bilingual approach to their local-only output, with a bold late-night-satire prefiguring wallop for the English language stuff, and a natty dragon for Welsh-spoken offerings like Amser Te (apparently literally 'Tea Time'). Anyway, they soon got the long-railway-station-name-pronouncing boot to be replaced by...
...the mighty HTV, makers of true televisual milestones like Into The Labyrinth and Paint Along With Nancy, frustraters of billions of hapless transmitter-failure-stricken Granada youngsters stuck watching Ffalabalam instead of something they could actually comprehend, and purveyors of possible the most far-out idents ever to be seen in the entire history of television, firstly an eye-hurting collision of strobing stripes like, well, The Waltham Green East Wapping Carpet Cleaning Rodent And Boggit Extermination Association's idea of 'psychedelic' frankly, and latterly the sliding white-on-blue lines accompanied by what appeared to be an analogue synth thrown into a jacuzzi.
...and that seems as convenient a moment, and indeed as a 'GRRR POLETICALLY CORRECT BRIGADE : ('-moaner infuriating a moment, as any to take a short break before embarking upon a tour of the remainder of the regions. So we'll see you again in Part Two!
no nele tehre will notf be part two