Yes, it's Election Time again! And you can bet your last packet of Mint Rolos that over the coming months, politicians of every hue, stripe, and angle of fatuous side parting will be taking every available opportunity to voice their concern about the 'biased' BBC and its biased bias in favour of everyone who isn't them personally, whilst Nigel Farage will doubtless go one better and complain live, on primetime BBC1, and in the middle of Nigel Farage's All-New Nigel Farage Hour With Special Guest Nigel Farage, that the biased BBC are refusing to give him adequate airtime because 'bias'.
Even aside from the fact that in reality the BBC is only scientifically provably biased in favour of John Barrowman, this has all got a little bit tedious now, and it's time to tell them - to borrow a phrase from one of the greatest ever achievements in the entire history of art and culture and which would simply have never existed without the BBC - to go stick their head in a pig.
But we won't be doing this with anything so obvious as a straightforward repeat of my alarming rant about how you should defend the BBC "with your bare hands if you have to" (though if any of you would like to print said rant out on a Dymo labeller, and stick the resultant labels to a photo of Danny Alexander's face, or better still to his real face, please be my guest). Or even by giving a fresh outing to the previous General Election's list of Things You May Wish To Enjoy More Than Politics (which included such Cameron-trouncing totems as The Branded ‘Counterfeit-Proof’ Leader Tape On Genuine Non-Pirated Copies Of ZX Spectrum Game Saboteur, That Issue Of Doctor Who Magazine With A Cover Featuring A Dejected-Looking Sylvester McCoy Below The Headline ‘Waiting In The Wings – What Does The Doctor Do Next?', Michael Parkinson’s ‘Smokin’ Joe’ T-Shirt From The Cover Of Sporting Mad!, The Line “But We’re Very Rich Leeks” From Roland Rat Serial Operation F.O.G.I., The Scrawly ‘Reveal’ Font The Answers Were Displayed In On Telly Addicts, and The Panel That Didn’t ‘Work’ In Eagle’s 3D Strip Scorpio). No, instead we'll be rejecting the snidings of any and every here today and - if I may say so - gone tomorrow politician by telling them that we actually quite like our BBC, thanks, that a lot of their programmes are quite good and that, and that it's an entity that exists for the purposes of entertaining of the general public, not to service the dreary careerist self-in-face-hitting of a bunch of pillocks that none of us ever asked for our viewing to be intruded on by in the first place, 'bias' or no 'bias'. And what better way to do that than by having a good old read of some much-loved articles in which I've celebrated, or in some cases just been confused by, some of the programming and even non-programming that could never ever have come about under the advertising and sponsorship-driven free market model that Rupert Murdoch keeps telling us is best on Twitter because it is freedom of choice to choose should all be free not like license fee bbc results would speak for themself public choice would? No, there isn't a better way of doing it. Shut up. Now. Thanks.
Anyway, you could choose from...
And in the interests of balance, and so Grant Shapps doesn't cry, here's a piece about ITV being a bunch of miserable cowards who won't allow the DVD release of a twenty five year old 'controversial' sitcom.
This post is dedicated to Philip Davies MP (1972 - 'Jimmy' 'Greaves')
