Showing posts with label not on your telly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label not on your telly. Show all posts

Plays For Yesterday


Those who have been following this blog for a while will know how obsessed I am with sixties television and music, and in particular how the ephemeral nature of popular culture back then means that much of it is now lost forever, or at least shorn of its context to the point of indecipherableness.

Although lost TV is more celebrated, and perhaps rightly so, the same can also be true of music, particularly with songs that formed part of a band’s live set in those pre-Official Souvenir Tour DVD days. How many of you out there were left utterly baffled as to why Pink Floyd’s Alan’s Psychedelic Breakfast - an audio collage of ambient instrumental jollity, looped bits of speech and vague kitchen sounds - or The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band’s Music For The Head Ballet - little more than an unremarkable fairground-esque harpsichord waltz - should be occupying prominent positions on albums, only to later discover that the latter literally was music for a ‘Head Ballet’, used in live shows to accompany an alarming display of choreographed head-jerking, and the former a truly ridiculous ‘only in 1970’ frying-bacon-on-stage sonic experiment with accompanying breakfast-related whimsical commentary from the band? Incidentally, in the lone surviving live recording, you can actually hear the audience having hysterics at said whimsy; and they say prog rockers had no sense of humour?


Of course, in all of the above cases and more, a bit of dedicated detective work and indeed educated guesswork will normally fill in the gaps to a greater or lesser extent. When it comes to sixties stage plays, though, you’re pretty much onto a loser from the start. This was, of course, a time when television had yet to reach saturation point and was only broadcasting for a couple of hours a day anyway, and people would still go to the cinema two or three times a week regardless of what was on; demand for the theatre was still equally high, to the extent that browsing through the various available listings and adverts almost suggests that they were struggling to produce enough new shows to meet demand. And there were so many fascinating-sounding off-the-wall ventures in those pre-organised smash days too - Private Eye’s satirical musical Mrs Wilson’s Diary, early Doctor Who cash-in Curse Of The Daleks, the endless outbursts of whimsy from Anthony Newley and Lionel Bart (the latter’s Blitz! having a poster that boasted possibly the most ‘sixties’ design of all time), and many, many more long-forgotten efforts that Dominic Sandbrook could potentially use as a shorthand indicator of how the tide was turning either ‘for’ or ‘against’ something in wider society.


And yet, precisely because of that lack of a cross-platform multimedia market, there’s very little evidence of any of these stage shows left, especially those that - like most of the above - closed after a couple of weeks and were promptly forgotten about. There’s the reviews, publicity photos and scripts - though you can’t always guarantee that one will still be around, or even then that it’ll be easy to access - and in some cases a soundtrack album, and in some even rarer cases a big screen adaptation or truncated television presentation (though that said most of those will be long wiped anyway), but getting a sense of what the overall production was like and how the performers approached their roles is nigh on impossible. Even Harry Secombe’s famous turn in Pickwick - which, lest we forget, was where latterday standard If I Ruled The World originally came from - was never really captured as anything beyond an Original Cast Recording.

Revivals are all very well and good but the problem is that they’re exactly that - a modern day take on something where nobody’s quite sure what the original was like. Yes, miracles do sometimes happen - not least the rediscovery of the long-lost television taping of Beyond The Fringe in pretty much its entirety - but if you’re looking at something from before the home video boom then chances are you’re going to struggle to get much detail on it. And even some from after that; surprisingly, there doesn’t appear to be a recording of either of the stage shows spun off from The Young Ones in circulation. Yes, you can dig out details, statistics and box office totals until you’re literally submerged by paperwork, but none of it can really tell you what the actual performances were like. So if you want to draw conclusions from something more substantial than a list of dates, you’re best off sticking with television and pop music.

Mind you, having said all that, if anyone out there can figure out exactly why the cast of radio sitcom The Glums saw fit to record a vocal version of the theme from Soviet-irking early BBC spy thriller The Little Red Monkey, then you’re doing better than anyone else ever has.




This is an abridged version of an article featured in Not On Your Telly, a book collecting some of my musings on lost, ignored and censored television with all kinds of interesting diversions along the way. You can get Not On Your Telly as a paperback here or from the Kindle Store here.

Not On Your Telly (But On The Kindle Store)


Not On Your Telly, a book collecting some of my features on lost, forgotten or censored television shows, is now available on the Amazon Kindle Store. Doctor Who fans may be interested to know that includes hefty features on The Evil Of The Daleks, The Space Pirates, The Android Invasion and a radio adaptation of the Peter Cushing Dalek Films, as well as the BBC 'Sunday Classics' serials produced by former showrunners Barry Letts and Terrance Dicks. Everyone else may be interested to know that it includes similarly hefty features on Fist Of Fun, Play School, The Tyrant King, The 8:15 From Manchester, Madhouse On Castle Street, Rubovia, Bizzy Lizzy, Dear Heart, Hear'Say It's Saturday and Kelly Monteith. And, um, Spatz. In addition there are also features on the joys of mono sixties pop music, why researching old stage plays is so difficult, some of the odder part-time jobs taken by comedians in the days before arena tours, and a look at the album that inspired Britpop, Alan Klein's Well At Least It's British.

You can get Not On Your Telly from the Kindle Store by clicking here. Or, if you'd rather, the paperback is still available from here.

Desert Island Dylan (Or Madhouse On Castaway Street... No, That Doesn't Work)


It's always a mistake to assume that you know everything about popular culture of the past. Doubly so if it's regarding a long-wiped television show. No matter how hard you think you've looked, there's always something new to find, and sometimes you'll find it by accident and in the most unlikely places.

If you've been rifling through the amazing archive of old episodes of Desert Island Discs that the BBC have made available as free downloads, then you'll be aware of just how much of a treasure trove of context and trivia they really are, especially the early editions from the fifties and sixties. Pick a random one and you might stumble across, say, Arthur Askey stating that while he can't stand pop groups, there are some young new chaps called The Beatles who conduct themselves like entertainers and could go on to do something rather interesting. Or, more hauntingly, Benny Hill freely admitting that his humour has a shelf life, and with that in mind he was wanting to move towards becoming a writing and directing mentor for younger comics, but was having trouble convincing the TV bigwigs that this was a good idea. And you might even chance upon something that offers a new angle on one of your longstanding obsessions.

If you've read my book Not On Your Telly, then you'll probably have seen the chapter on Madhouse On Castle Street, the long lost BBC TV play from early 1963 starring a then little-known Bob Dylan, of which only a partial off-air audio recording now survives. This was originally commissioned for a book to accompany an academic presentation on 'Rock In Film' or something vaguely along those lines, which fell through for dull admin-y type reasons that I can't really recall. As such, I had pulled out all the stops to try and make it as informative and accurate a piece as I could, and felt at the end that unless an actual copy of the finished programme turned up - in the introduction I alluded to then-current rumours that it was amongst Philip Morris' supposed haul of lost TV shows, which still hasn't been clarified one way or the other - I would have needed whatever the research equivalent of a tension-leg deepwater drill was to find out much more of any practical contextual use.


On the 18th October 1980 edition of Desert Island Discs, actor Brian Glover chose Dylan's Like A Rolling Stone as one of the eight records he'd like to be cast away with; a popular selection with guests on the show, which also made the lists of Greg Dyke, Andy Kershaw, Jack Vettriano, Adrian Noble, Paul Hogarth and Professor Peter Piot. Like Dyke and Vettriano, Glover also picked Like A Rolling Stone as his favourite of the eight, alongside his chosen book Card Games by John Scarne, and as his somewhat impractical luxury item an MG TD Series sports car. Talking about his reasons for choosing the track, Glover told presenter Roy Plomley about how he had become a fan of Dylan very early on in his career, after hearing his music in small clubs while travelling the UK working as a professional wrestler. After the record had played, quite unusually for Desert Island Discs, Glover volunteered an extra bit of anecdotage about Bob Dylan - namely that he'd seen him perform live at The Troubadour Coffee House on Old Brompton Road, while he was in the UK "to make a film for TV, for the BBC, before he actually made it".

Sure enough, it turns out that Dylan did indeed play at The Troubadour on 29th December 1962, the night before the original intended recording of Madhouse On Castle Street; due to the harsh adverse weather conditions that had swept across the UK, this had to be abandoned and production was remounted on 4th January. His setlist for that show is sadly not on record, though given that he was about to perform them on camera and this gig was to all intents and purposes a warm-up, it's more than likely that he would have thrown in renditions of Hang Me, O Hang Me, Cuckoo Bird, Ballad Of The Gliding Swan and the newly-composed Blowin' In The Wind. Dylan is also known to have introduced himself onstage that night as 'Blind Boy Grunt', doubtless provoking a laugh of recognition from the pseudonym-toting wrestlers in the audience.

Accurate details of any performances that Dylan had made during the production of Madhouse On Castle Street had proved frustratingly elusive back when I first wrote the article, but there you have it; one throwaway mention from someone you wouldn't necessarily have expected, and there's a whole new bit of context and detail that could have gone into the piece. Don't let that put you off Not On Your Telly, though, as the original writeup is still pretty darn good, and there's loads more on creaky old black and white TV like Play School, R.3 and Doctor Who, not to mention features on sixties theatre and mono pop music. Though nobody's chosen it on Desert Island Discs yet...

There's So Much More Than TV Times...


Yes, it's ITV's 60th Birthday - and to celebrate, we're actually going to be nice about them for once!

No, really - to mark this momentous milestone in the broadcasting history of the makers of TV's Hey, It's My Birthday Too!, it's time to take a look through the archives (though not the TVS archive, thanks to the machinations of That Bastard Mouse) and highlight a couple of past posts about all things ITV. Including...


A detailed - and opinionated - look back at some of ITV's lunchtime children's shows...




The sorry tale of ITV's attempt at remaking a hit American sitcom for UK audiences...






A gallery of peculiar images used to promote whatever might have been coming up 'after the break'...





The weird and Matthew Kelly-heavy world of Children's ITV continuity....





A salute to ITV's not-much-missed me-too Ceefax copyist Oracle...






IDENEANATASF!!...







...and an in-depth look at the sitcom they're still too chicken to show, Hardwicke House!










And that's not all! If you're so inclined, you can get venerated old-skool ITV sci-fi shows Sapphire & Steel and Children Of The Stones on DVD with books about the shows by me included, and find some hefty features on the more neglected corners of ITV's archives (including the likes of The Secret Service, The Tyrant King and, erm, Bognor) in my books Well At Least It's Free and Not On Your Telly.


And now, here's a couple of my favourite clippings from TV Times...





Not On Your Telly


Not On Your Telly is a book collecting some of my articles on the archive TV that we never get to see, with reports from the dustier corners of the archives on the fondly-remembered, little-remembered and just plain forgotten likes of wiped sixties episodes of Doctor Who, sketches edited from Lee & Herring's Fist Of Fun, Play School, R.3, Bizzy Lizzy, Kelly Monteith, The 8:15 From Manchester, Rubovia, Dear Heart, The Tyrant King, Hear'Say It's Saturday! and many many more. And, um, Spatz.

Within its pages you'll find features on The Daleks' first radio appearance, how Bob Dylan ended up acting in a BBC play, what it was like to watch a recovered sixties episode of Doctor Who for the first time, how a throwaway gag about a child who was scared of a panto led to a cowardly act of censorship nearly two decades later, and the enduring puzzle of how and why anyone thought Skiboy was a good idea in the first place. Oh alright, that one's probably beyond explaining.

There's also room for a look at some of the books, films, theatre and pop music that were around when all of this stuff was passing the viewing millions by, including TV-spinoff stage plays, some of the more unusual work comedians had to take to make ends meet in the days before arena tours, and what The Beatles, The Kinks and Pink Floyd sounded like in mono, as well as the unlikely story of the album that inspired Britpop, Well At Least It's British by Alan Klein.

A lot of this has never seen publication anywhere before - there's not just previously edited-out chunks (although there are some of them), but also entire 'new' features, including a history of the BBC's long-running 'Sunday Classics' drama slot, and an attempt to find something to say about that most ignored of Doctor Who stories, The Space Pirates. I'm not giving away whether I managed to or not. This isn't an ideal fun nostalgic present for that difficult-to-buy-for relative, it's for that difficult relative full stop. Especially if they remember Captain Zep - Space Detective.

You can get Not On Your Telly as a paperback here, and as an eBook here. It's also now available from the Kindle Store here.

This Side Up (Use No Hooks)


Mentioning Issi Noho in the post before this one (which was about nineties lounge/dance outfit The Gentle People, and which was the post before this one back when they were originally published but isn't now, only now it isn't even online and can be found in my book Super Expanded Deluxe Edition instead... confused? Good!) has reminded me that we're actually due a post about Issi Noho. Well, a post that would have mentioned Issi Noho at least - namely the second part of that promised review of Network DVD's Look-Back Volume One. The only problem with this otherwise flawless plan is that only the first instalment of that multi-instalment review had ever been written, and the prospect of embarking on yet another seventeen or eighteen part series seems as though it might involve a bit more effort than it's actually worth. Plus on top of that, now that all these are being republished, I'm actually going to be doing something else with the Look Back reviews. And anyway, the blog stats seem to suggest that you all prefer it when I'm writing like this anyway. Yes you do. Stop arguing.

Anyway, that post would have looked at the next five shows on the DVD, namely Paperplay (Susan Stranks and alarmingly-voiced puppet spiders 'Itsy' and 'Bitsy' make a springy-tailed cardboard cat whilst a real cat looks on askance), The Tingha And Tucker Club ('Auntie' Jean Morton and some stuffed marsupials read out some viewers' letters before their raggedy puppet chums put on the first part of a cliffhangered staging of The Pied Piper Of Hamelin, complete with squeaky-voiced rewrites of Food Glorious Food and High Hopes; and as this is apparently the only surviving edition out of around eighty three thousand, we'll never find out what happened next), Michael Bentine's Potty Time (erstwhile Goon presents madcap puppet-assisted harmonica-heralded satire of British military bluster), Jamie And The Magic Torch (introduction-not-needing Yellow Submarine knock-off Glam variant of Jim Steinman-esque theme song infamy), and of course Issi Noho. Actually, due to the uneven amount of shows on the discs, and the fact that there would only have been one left on the first one to cover, the decidedly odd The Laughing Policeman - Deryck Guyler as a non-'canon' interpretation of the rotund chuckler from the old music hall novelty number, introducing a succession of cheap-looking puppets even for cheap-looking puppets gallumphing around to the likes of Sweet Gingerbread Man in some nightmarish precursor to Dooby Duck's Disco Bus - would probably have ended up being covered as part of it too, but that's beside the point. We'll get around to the others in due course too, and the ones on Volume Two as well, but for the moment, it's Issi Noho all the way. That said, we won't be getting around to them actually on here. But more on that later.

So who exactly is this shadowy Noho character? Well, he's a semi-animated panda cast adrift in a wood and discovered by bear-befriending youngsters Andrew, Sally and the frankly terrifying Neil in a partially obscured crate where leafy infringement had rendered the legend 'THIS SIDE UP USE NO HOOKS' as, you guessed it, 'ISSI NOHO'. Though the earlier episodes had some kind of a running storyline about the trio's attempts to both shelter and feed him without being discovered, resulting in some youngster disgruntlement when his nomenclatural deceit was rumbled, it soon descended into his living openly with a family and creating sub-Paddington slapstick chaos wherever he went (with, scoring a full house of seventies animated bear poor-relation-ness, a smattering of sub-Teddy Edward 'angry' flute at the end of the theme music). His previously book-confined exploits had been semi-animated by Thames in 1976, and were given regular repeat airings right up to the end of the decade, and were then promptly forgotten about by all but those with the haziest of hazy memories of his box-derived naming process.

The episode presented here, entitled Panda Sandwiches Are Most Indigestible - the clue's sort of in the title - sees Issi infiltrate a panto for comic effect and then run up against a real life beanstalk-topping giant, whose attempts to consume him between two large slices of bread are thwarted by some quick-talking thinking-on-his-paws. And, well, it's kind of lacking in the sort of excitement-generating ursine subterfuge that the show is associated with in most people's memories. That's not to say that it's in any way boring or substandard, and it's certainly not as if the series can be divided up into its own equivalent of pre- and post-Nat Hiken incarnations, but it probably isn't what a lot of viewers will be half-expecting so seeing it again for the first time in a frightening amount of years could easily prove to be ever so slightly on the anti-climactic side. It's a bit like, say, when they choose something from the good-but-not-AS-good era of Smith And Jones for a tribute night; you're effectively being asked to be nostalgic for something that isn't quite what you're actually feeling nostalgic for. Erm, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, that's a whole post constructed - in true Issi Noho fashion - around a handful of scribbled words that would have formed part of something larger but for the fact that, um, some leaves got in the way. Yes. So if you've learned anything from old seventies ITV children's programmes, it's to reuse and recycle any unfinished ideas you've got lying around. And not to bother watching The Laughing Policeman.


Not On Your Telly, a book collecting some of my articles on the archive TV we never get to see, is available in paperback here or as an eBook here.

Let's Talk About S.W.A.L.K.



When Channel 4 started up in 1982, BBC2 was already well into its sadly-missed attempt at slotting cerebral entertainment for Older 'Younger Viewers' into the 6pm post-childrens'-programming news-avoidance timeslot. The Adventure Game, Maggie, Now Get Out Of That!, No Limits, The Great Egg Race, Monkey and The Deceivers were just a few of the fondly-recalled offbeat oddities that pulled in the otherwise ill-served audience demographic by treating them like they had a bit of intelligence and opinion, before ruining it all by foisting thirtysomething's idea of what 'teenagers' are interested in Def II on an unsuspecting world. They really should have gone with that second series of Juice.

Anyway, needless to say, the newly-launched Channel 4 wanted a piece of the action, and their early years were full of attempts to jump on the bandwagon, albeit usually getting the target audience wrong in the process and coming up with the likes of Michael Rosen-driven 'inclusivity'-promoting tediumfest Everybody Here. Sometimes they did hit the mark, though, notably with explanation-non-needing music show The Tube, subtitled imported underwear theft-themed comedy drama Xerxes (which probably needs a post of its own at some point), and S.W.A.L.K..

So what was S.W.A.L.K.? Well, something that's always drawn a good deal of blank looks, frankly. In short, it was a quasi-postmodern fourth-wall-breaking teen-comedy-drama with Photo Love Story-esque stylings about a teenage girl whose romantic trials and tribulations were steered by the Prunella Scales-essayed Aunt Patty, a problem page agony aunt come to metatextual life, and bolstered by its very own stroppy sub-Altered Images theme song. And hardly anyone ever seems to remember anything about it. This probably wasn't helped by the fact that at more or less the same time and in more or less the same timeslot, BBC2 were running the strikingly similar Dear Heart; indeed, for some years I wrongly recalled the S.W.A.L.K. theme as the Dear Heart theme.

Anyway, S.W.A.L.K. was one of those things - like Crow & Alice and proper MP3 versions of the original Now That's What I Call Music/Hits albums with the correct versions of all the tracks - that seemed destined never to show up on the internet. Was, that is, until the other day, when a whole episode showed up on YouTube. Next stop, The Boy Who Won The Pools!


Not On Your Telly, a book collecting some of my articles on the archive TV we never get to see, is available in paperback here or as an eBook here.